When you’re a kid in school, you give Valentine’s Day cards to everyone, because that’s just how it works. When you become an adult, though, you have to trim it back—you don’t go around giving out Valentine’s willy-nilly. Your sweetheart, maybe your mom, and that’s about it. This list? Your sweetheart, mos def.
Slurping Vietnamese noodles from paper soup containers is one of the most romantic things you do—cause you and your Valentine live for ethnic food, and you love to find the latest little hole-in-the-wall soup shop in the neighborhood. Celebrate the day and you love of Pho all at once with this funny card.
You’ve been together for a long time. You made it through college, first jobs, kids, the whole shebang. Now, what sounds romantic is coming home early from work and taking a nice long afternoon nap. This Valentine’s card captures that sentiment and puts it in words.
I Love You Like A Toaster Loves Toast
Take your tongue-tied goofiness and throw it out the window. You know you love your sweetheart so much it’s hard to describe. Sometimes there’s no good comparison and no apt metaphor. You just love them in hot, scorching butter them up kind of way. Like a toaster loves toast!
Something about Valentine’s Day cards and puns just can’t be separated. This one is has a couple of those lovable little river creatures—yes, you guesses it, otters—being all lovey-dovey on the front. There’s a pink heart and a light blue background to make it complete.
Na + Cl, aka NaCl, aka sodium and chlorine, join to form table salt—they’re perfectly complementary elements. The positive electrons in one sync up with the negative electrons in the other. That’s you and your partner. You mix to form the perfect pair, and this Valentine’s card shows it.
This funny Valentine’s Day card will make you LOL or you don’t have a pulse. Take your sweetheart out to a Tex-Mex restaurant, and while you’re discussing the menu choices, drop the line from this card on her: I Would Love to Get Jalapeno Pants. Ole!
The theme of this funny Valentine’s Day Card is age old: take your love with the flowers and the thorns. It’s got a twist, though. There’s a cute, hand-drawn cactus on the front, and the tag line is “I Prick You To Be Mine”.
When you first went out, she thought you were like an octopus—hands all over the place, like you had eight of them. Now the tables are turned, and you’ve got her heart. This funny Valentine’s Day card sums it all up: she’s the one like an octopus—a sucker for your love.
It’s all going to come out of the end—in the end, we mean. In the end. Does she have a sick sense of humor like you do? Let’s hope so—if she doesn’t, you’ll find out as soon as you give her this card. We think you’re best off finding out sooner rather than later.
You Are My One in Seven Billion
There are just over seven billion people on earth, and if you found one who can tolerate you, then you better keep them. And if they love you back, you really better hold on and never let go. This card says it straight up in black and white: You are My One in Seven Billion.
Flesh eating undead creatures walk the night—and there’s one out there who’s all yours, because he loves you not for your body, not for your sexuality, not for your money, your fame, or your considerable wealth. He wants you for your yummy, delicious brains.
10 DIY Gifts
This card is cute, clever, and classic all at the same time. The design is simple: it’s a tandem bike with the saying “We’re So Much Better Together” in capital letters below the picture. If it’s true for you and your Valentine, then this is your perfect card.
Everyone is completely insane for Minecraft these days. Minecraft games, Minecraft videos, Minecraft songs, Minecraft action figures—now we have an easy to make, printable Minecraft Valentine’s Day card. Your geeky Valentine gamer will lover you for this one.
We’re bringing sexy back with this funny DIY Valentine’s Day card. Sometimes it doesn’t take much to be sexy and funny. A hint here, a heart there, a bit of red just so…and you’re rocking some sexy “ish”. This three step card takes you there.
Look at this card. Do you get it? Look again. Still don’t get it? We stared and stared and stared, then it dawned on us: the fish. This card does not say “I love you to Pieces” like you think it does. Think fish. Think hard—but don’t hurt yourself.
What could be easier than getting a little rock, making it super cute with a bow or some ribbon, and including a handmade card that says “I Think You Rock”? Perhaps the downloadable, printable tag on this DIY will make it easier.
Put your crafting pants on and get ready: this one is going to take a little bit of time but it’s going to be well worth it. At the end of this detailed tutorial, you’ll have a funny Valentine’s Day card that both shows them and tells them they have your heart—all of it.
I love you more than I love…big juicy cheeseburgers. A New York Slice. A cold beer on a hot summer day. How many creative ways can you think up to tell your sweetheart you love them? That’s the only limiter on this cute, funny Valentine’s Day card.
You know about panty grams, singing telegrams, but did you know about Bananagrams? Saying the word is funny—Bananagram. Making a funny Valentine’s Day card out of a banana is…wait for it…straight up bananas. You can’t help it, though: you gotta be you.
Guys need DIYs that are simple enough for kids, because where romance is concerned, they basically lurch around like toddlers anyway. This tutorial—by a mom for her son—makes it as easy: you get to feed your inner geek and tell her how much you love her all at the same time.
You’re so romantic that on Valentine’s Day card is not enough. You have to go for it. This great DIY idea gives you license to do just that: go overboard. Make him two solid week’s worth of Valentine’s cards. You can make them funny, romantic, or naughty—all you need is craft paper, a pen, and little hearts to glue inside. And of course, your big old heart.
(You may also like: 2018 Valentines Day Gift Ideas)